Unrest in Peace
by EcoSeeker247
Summary: From where she was now, she could see everything: old houses, her favorite places in Newport, and her school, which she would never forget. And then there were the things she didn't want to see: the tears, the people left behind, and most importantly, the fact that the one she loved the most was doing everything he could to avoid her. Post Season 3 finale. *Series Spoilers*


All right! So, this is my first fanfiction for _The OC_, one of my favorite TV shows that I've recently been rewatching and getting back into. This was something that popped up in my head after watching the Season 3 finale again, so I thought I'd write it out and post it here. I don't know if anyone else has written something like this, but I thought I'd upload it anyway. Let me know what you think!

**PAIRINGS: **Mostly RyanxMarissa, and a very tiny hint of SethxSummer.

**DISCLAIMER: **Everything belongs to FOX and Josh Schwartz.

**WARNING: **There are spoilers from all over the series, but especially the Season 3 finale.

* * *

From where she was now, Marissa Cooper could see everything.

She could see every house she had lived in, from the first one next to the Cohens, to Caleb Nichol's mansion, to the trailer park, and finally, her best friend, Summer's, house.

She could see Harbor, picturing her locker, the hallways she had walked through countless times, and all the school activities she had planned. That was her life, one of her very reasons for wanting to go to school in the first place: people always knew that for the most part, she was the brains behind many of the more memorable events.

She could see many of the local hangout spots in Newport, notably the Bait Shop and the diner. She could even see the Pier she had sat on countless times, gazing into the ocean as she contemplated life, where she was now, and where she wanted to go. She hadn't always found the answers she was looking for, but she was free to be herself and temporarily let everything go. These were some of the memories she wished to hold onto.

Then there were the things Marissa didn't want to see: her mother's devastated reaction when she learned about the car accident, or her sister's poker face at the funeral, even though it was obvious she was on the verge of crying. She didn't want to see Summer breaking down at the podium as she recounted the day they had become best friends, or how Seth had held her tightly in his arms, providing the comfort and love she needed. She didn't think she could handle the sight of her two normally lively friends in such a somber state, so she turned away from them and caught sight of the other sad faces in attendance: Kirsten and Sandy Cohen, Dr. Roberts, and even her own father, who must have flown in from Hawaii as soon as he heard the tragic news.

Marissa felt a wave of regret as she remembered the last thing she had said to him, warning him not to come back if he left her and her family again. She was hoping that spending time with him on his boat would maybe patch things up between them, and she felt hot tears form in her eyes as she realized that under the current circumstances, she would never get that chance.

But perhaps most of all, she didn't want to see how the man she loved the most hadn't even come to her funeral.

Marissa thought about her near death in Tijuana, how scared she was that she wouldn't make it out of that alley, and how grateful she was that she had, thanks to him. Although she never said it out loud, she thanked God every day for Ryan Atwood: for the way he would smile at her and make her laugh, for being there for her even if they were just friends, and _especially_ for serving as her unofficial rock whenever she felt like she was spiraling out of control. Even the few times she fell, he was always part of the reason she picked herself back up again, and although he wasn't one to freely express his emotions, he always somehow let her know that she meant a lot to him in return.

Which was why she couldn't understand why he hadn't come to say goodbye.

The tears now rolled down her cheeks, but Marissa wiped them away as she turned and headed in the opposite direction, towards the Pier. Although she was in a different place now, she still liked to sit there and gaze into the Pacific, only this time, she didn't have as much to think about. Sometimes, she could see people frown and glance around, as if they were able to sense her presence, but she ignored that as she watched the tide come in, crashing against the shoreline and then moving back out.

She wasn't sure how long she ended up sitting on the Pier, but time didn't matter to her anymore. All she cared about was wondering why Ryan was doing everything he could to stay away from her, to pretend that he wasn't affected by her death in any way. Even from the Pier, she could see how far down he was spiraling, reverting back to his angry and violent ways as he distanced himself from the Cohens and took up a job as a cage fighter. It was like the last three years had never happened, and it broke her heart to see him so detached from reality, to see him looking lost in the same way he had when he first showed up in Newport.

Maybe he couldn't bring himself to say goodbye, she thought. Maybe he didn't want to take in the sight of her lying in a coffin, and eventually a cemetery as well. Or perhaps he felt guilty that he couldn't save her, despite everybody always characterizing him as having a "thing for saving people".

All these possibilities made sense, and also caused more tears to form in her eyes.

Marissa wished she could reach out to him, to just talk to him and reassure him that she was all right now. Growing up, her life had always been turbulent, seeing nothing but misery between her various family problems, her bad luck with men, and other unfortunate circumstances she had been thrown into. But even though she hadn't expected to die at such a young age, this was ironically the first time she ever truly felt at peace.

Almost.

She would always miss Ryan, Seth, Summer, Kirsten, Sandy, and her family, but after spending some time in this place, she had eventually come to terms with the fact that she could never go back, no matter how much she really wanted to.

She only wished that Ryan would be able to realize the same thing. It would be for the best, she thought, not only for her, but for him as well. Although she knew she would always love him, she wanted him to find happiness again. She wanted him to be able to care for someone else the way he had cared for her, even though it would probably take some time for him to get used to the idea of letting her go.

And until he did, she would continue to sit on that Pier, unwilling to finally rest in peace.


End file.
